Straying away from my usual topics, I decided to write something a bit more personal this week. And unfortunately it is to do with stress.

So at the beginning of October I embarked on my final year of University, and decided to take two jobs alongside it and carry on making videos on my personal YouTube channel as well as running the blog.  Let's just say that after 3 months I am a very tired person! However this doesn't mean I don't enjoy what I do.

I really try to make time for all of these things, alongside filming, dissertation writing, seeing friends and family. However this does mean I've scarified something I love the most which is 'me' time. Now giving up time to myself has stressed me out more than doing all of this work, I thrive on spending a few hours at least a day on my own and now the time I get on my own is bedtime - which I spend overthinking instead of doing the actual sleeping part.

But what I realised recently after some advice from a good friend of mine is that you do (as cheesy as it sounds) only live once and if you have nothing to show for it then what's the point? I do all of these things because I enjoy them and eventually want to build a career for myself. If it means I have another 6 months of stress then so be it. However I have now started keeping journal of the things which make me unhappy - I've found writing them down and not talking about them really does help. You let your feelings disappear into a book and you never have to worry about them again (unless they're ongoing of course).

So if you're wondering why there is less content recently on both here and YouTube, I'm not neglecting you I'm just trying to fit EVERYTHING into the weeks which are flying by. I shall get back on it soon, but tomorrow I'm going to have a bath and spend an hour thinking of nothing.

So I originally tried to make this into a YouTube video, but my exporting software and mac decided to have a small mental breakdown. And as people actually enjoying reading my blog I thought why the hell not write about this. This blog is mainly for reviews, but why not have a moment now and again huh?

I wanted to speak about my first ever gaming experience and how this turned me into the gamer I am today. Some people like to refer to me as a 'gurl gamer' and this upsets me. I am a gamer, end of. My gender should have nothing to do with it. All gamers, male and female should be classed as a singular unit. If a woman wants to flaunt her body whilst 'playing' games then okay, but that's not me at all.

So when I was around 6-7 I remember my Dad bringing home a PC and a game he had heard 'SO MUCH ABOUT!' and the game was Myst. If you haven't heard of this game then you really haven't lived (and I suggest you log in to Steam or GoG and buy it right now). Myst is a first-person puzzle adventure game through an interactive world, where you could literally click on almost anything and it would reveal some kind of hint into what the purpose of this mysterious deserted island was.


You are given possibly the smallest amount of backstory when you play and just kind of thrown into the game, and f**k me this game was outstandingly hard. There are no goals for you to get to, you literally have to work with what you have and make notes, go back and forth for hours on end until something starts happening. Your character is also a huge mystery and you are just known as the Stranger.

This game was literally family bonding time for me and my Dad, I would get home from school and sit down with my Dad while he played and write down combinations we had found, or any important notes we needed. My Dad is dyslexic so this was also a chance for us both to learn. I also recently re-purchased this game and I struggled so bad (even used a YouTube guide for help, so god knows how me and my Dad completed it!) I absolutely adored these moments with my father and although I spent my fair share of time outside climbing trees and pretending to be witches with my friends, sitting behind the computer for a few hours a week was so much fun...especially when he brought a SNES home. But that's for another day.

I just wanted to write this little piece as recently I've seen girls getting slammed for not being true gamers, and joining a bandwagon by playing CoD in their pants for mens enjoyment. Although this does in fact happen and really makes me feel uncomfortable, it also makes me appreciate how much of a true gamer I am and how I've grown up playing games these girls would never even have heard of.

We are a gaming community and we should appreciate all games for what they provide us.